The tragic passing of Misha Agrawal, a 24-year-old social media influencer and founder of Mish Cosmetics, has sent shockwaves across India, prompting a critical examination of the pressures associated with online validation.
Misha died by suicide just two days before her 25th birthday, a loss that has ignited widespread discussions about the mental health challenges faced by social media influencers as well as users in the digital age.
The Weight of Online Validation
Misha’s sister shared a poignant message on Instagram, revealing that Misha had become deeply distressed over a decline in her Instagram followers, which she equated with a loss of self-worth. Despite holding a law degree and studying to become a judge, Misha’s aspirations were closely tied to her social media presence.
At the time of her death, Misha had over 3.5 lakh followers. Her phone’s wallpaper displayed a goal of reaching one million followers, reflecting the centrality of online validation in her life. Her family attempted to console her, emphasizing her other achievements but the pressures proved overwhelming. In the Instagram post Misha’s sister urged, “Instagram is not real life and followers are not real love. Please try to understand this.”
Challenges Faced by Social Media Influencers
The popularity of social media influencers has been growing worldwide. To most people, these influencers have the dream job. But Misha’s story highlights the silent struggles behind these curated lives presented on social media platforms.
Influencers often face numerous challenges, including:
Blurred Personal Boundaries
Influencers frequently share intimate details of their lives for their followers. From the food they eat to the clothes they wear to the places they travel to; everything can be seen by the viewers. This transparency, while fostering connection, often blurs the lines between personal and professional identities. The constant demand to produce content and engage with followers can lead to emotional strain and burnout. Without clear boundaries, influencers may struggle to separate work from personal life, resulting in dissatisfaction and demotivation.
Fear of Losing Followers
A decline in followers can feel like social exclusion to an influencer, affecting their self-esteem and mental well-being. It results in a toxic loop where self-esteem fluctuates with follower counts and online approval. For Misha, the same might have happened. Despite having a law degree and a loving family, she built her life around Instagram and her followers and became devastated when the numbers dwindled.
The Pressure of Image
Influencers make a living by developing and upholding a certain persona. Their followers expect to see a certain demeanour and pattern in their behaviour. So, at times, social media influencers can feel trapped by these self-imposed boundaries, which can hinder their authenticity and personal growth.
Online Hate and Abuse
A challenge commonly faced by social media influencers is learning how to deal with online trolls that either don’t like the content or are envious of their success. The bigger the follower count, the harder it is to filter abusive trolls and their hateful messages. Constant exposure to cyberbullying and negative comments can have detrimental effects on influencers’ mental health.
Struggle to Maintain Creativity
Collaborating with multiple brands can limit influencers’ creative freedom. Each brand has a message different from the others. The more brands an influencer associates with, the more restricted they can feel within creative boundaries leading to burnout.
Social Media Validation: the New Pandemic
The definition of “society” has expanded enormously with social media. Our actions and choices can now be scrutinised by a global audience on social platforms. We find ourselves at crossroads between our desire for individuality and an intensified need for social validation.
The quest for likes, shares, and positive comments on platforms like Instagram and Facebook taps into basic human desires for approval and affirmation. Each notification can trigger a dopamine release, reinforcing the behaviour and creating a cycle of validation-seeking. However, this cycle can also lead to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, especially when self-worth becomes intertwined with online metrics.
Social media platforms have skilfully designed environments that foster social comparison. We constantly evaluate our lives against the curated highlights of others, resulting in a never-ending loop of comparison and the pursuit of validation. The instant feedback received on a post provides a momentary uplift to our self-worth.
The Impact on Mental Health
The likes, comments, and shares have become the new currency of social validation, creating a complex web of digital interactions that shape our self-worth and behaviour. The consequences of this shift are far-reaching, affecting our mental health, personal growth, and the very fabric of our society.
The constant pursuit of validation through social media can significantly affect our mental well-being. Studies have established a link between extensive social media use and increased risks of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The situation worsens when individuals’ self-worth becomes closely tied to their online personas, making each like, comment, or follower count a reflection of personal value.
Research by the American Psychological Association indicates that adolescents spending over three hours daily on social media are at a heightened risk of developing anxiety and depression. This underscores the critical need for awareness and balanced usage to mitigate potential mental health issues.
Strategies to Reduce the Need for External Validation
Taking a break from social media and the endless loop of online validation isn’t about missing out; it’s about reclaiming time to engage in activities that truly bring you joy and fulfilment. Here are some strategies to consider:
- Set Boundaries: Limit daily social media use and designate times for offline activities. Designate ‘no-phone’ times, especially during meals and before bed.
- Real-life Interactions: By engaging in direct, personal conversations, we can experience more meaningful connections which leads to a sense of fulfilment that online interactions may not provide. Face-to-face communication supports emotional health and strengthens personal relationships.
- Cultivate Internal Validation: Work on cultivating internal self-approval. Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and confidence without the need for external validation. Focus on personal growth and pursue endeavours that resonate with your values and passions. Recognize and celebrate your achievements, both big and small, to reinforce your sense of self-worth.
- Mindful Posting: Before posting, pause and think: Are you just seeking validation or sharing something meaningful? Being mindful can help reduce the urge for external validation. Engaging in purposeful posting fosters authentic connections and supports mental well-being. By aligning your online presence with your true self, you cultivate a healthier relationship with social media.
- Diversify Your Online Activity: Participate in online communities that focus on learning and personal growth, rather than metrics like likes and follows. This can include forums, educational websites, or apps focusing on learning and skill-building.
- Digital Detox: Taking regular breaks from social media allows you to disconnect and engage in offline activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. This practice can lead to improved mental health, enhanced focus, and better sleep quality.
Conclusion
Misha’s tragic death highlights the urgent need for change. While social media itself isn’t inherently harmful, its unchecked use is impacting adolescents and young adults in detrimental ways. Parents, educators, and platforms must collaborate to promote healthier digital habits before more young lives are lost to the pursuit of virtual validation.
Maintaining a balanced relationship with social media is essential. By actively working to reduce our dependency on online validation, we can cultivate a more balanced and mentally healthy digital existence. Remember, our worth isn’t determined by online metrics like likes or follows; it’s shaped by the depth of our real-world experiences and the quality of our offline relationships.
Author Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o has rightly said, “Belief in yourself is more important than endless worries of what others think of you. Value yourself, and others will value you. Validation is best that comes from within.”
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